Tales of Konoha: The Trouble with Boys and Sheets
by IlluminatedShadow
Summary: Naruto thinks his sheets are cursed. Neji is flirting with Naruto. And after a phone call at 3 am, Sasuke regrets the day he met a certain loud mouth ninja and doubts he'll ever sleep again. And Kyuubi is having a great time. NejiNaru


Yay another installement in the Tales of Konoha series! Most of them are unrelated to each other, unless I say so. The previous ones were related, but this one is completely different from "Why Sasuke is Gay" and "Woes of Women."

This is gonna be a two or three part story. I hope you'll enjoy it! I enjoyed writing it.

Warnings: Language, OOC-ness, slash, stupidity, crappy writing, etc...

Pairing: NejiNaru , suggested SasuNaru

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. 

"Speech"

_'Thoughts'_

"Kyuubi speech"

* * *

"Damn it! Why can't I fall asleep?" Naruto shouted, banging his fists on the mattress under him. Huffing loudly, he tossed and turned and finally sat up to look at the clock across from him, for the umpteenth time.

It was 2 a.m.

Naruto flopped back down on the bed and swore loudly. Crossing his arms, he scowled at the ceiling. "I know why I can't fall asleep. It's because of my sheets!" He announced. Getting out of bed, he scrunched up his face as his bare feet landed on the cold, wooden floor.

"I'll just change them and then try to get some sleep." The blond haired ninja nodded to himself and proceeded to strip his bed of its bright orange sheets and switched them with…another pair of bright orange sheets. After balling up the old sheets and throwing them into a remote corner of his room, he said, "There we go. Maybe these sheets will make me forget about stupid Neji." Scowling, Naruto got back into bed. "Those damn sheets kept reminding me about that white-eyed weirdo. I swear he's weirder than Hinata and a bigger jerk than Sasuke."

"Which is quite an accomplishment, wouldn't you agree kit?"

Naruto stiffened as the familiar, yet still terrifying voice of his furry tenant growled in his mind. "Hey, you're awake."

"Well I can't sleep with you constantly tossing and turning and thinking of that Hyuuga boy."

"It's not my fault! It's because of my sheets! They're cursed!" Naruto hissed, turning over to lie on his side.

"…Your stupidity never ceases to amaze me."

Naruto chose to ignore the fox and shut his eyes tightly. A minute passed, followed by another, and then another, until…

"I can't take it anymore!" Naruto yelled (with a hint of hysteria), "Every time I close my eyes, I see that stupid mocking, sexy smirk! I swear, he pops up everywhere and annoys me! And my stupid sheets won't let me forget!"

"Uh, kit. I really don't think you should be blaming your sheets because you're totally flaming and want to get it on with the Hyuuga. But I can understand why; he's quite attractive. If I was younger--"

"And not a demon."

"And not a demon, I would totally make him my mate. I mean, since you're not going to bend over for the Uchiha, you might as well---"

"Shut up, shut up, shut up!" Naruto shrieked, burying his head under his pillow. Now he'd never get any sleep…

"You're not getting any younger. Oh, and by the way, covering your ears won't really help."

"You're worse than the pervert." Naruto groaned.

"Which one?"

"Just leave me alone." He whined. He thanked whoever was watching over him when Kyuubi did not respond. Now maybe he could get some rest. Naruto sighed happily, snuggled deeper into his blankets and closed his eyes.

A few moments later, his blue eyes flew open. Now not only was he seeing Neji when he closed his eyes, but he was also seeing Sasuke too.

"Damn you fox."

"Your welcome."

Naruto growled and glared up at the ceiling. Now he was having naughty thoughts about his best friend/rival as well as Neji.

"I really need new sheets." Naruto muttered, absent-mindedly scratching one of his scarred cheeks. Looking around the room, sapphire eyes rested on the telephone lying innocently on a table a few feet away. Naruto grinned.

"Misery does love company."

* * *

The shrill ringing of the telephone cut through the silence of the dark room and interrupted the beauty sleep of one Sasuke Uchiha. Said Uchiha sat up groggily and growled once he realized that the phone was, indeed, ringing.

It was not a dream.

The dark-haired boy turned to look at the clock on his night stand and swore loudly once he realized it was 3 a.m.

It was 3 a.m. and the phone was ringing (1).

"Whoever it is can just go to hell." Sasuke muttered sleepily and began to lie back down on his bed. But then it suddenly occurred to him that, perhaps it was an emergency. Perhaps someone had died...or maybe the village was under attack!

With that thought it mind, Sasuke quickly sat up and picked up the phone. It was only once he picked up the phone, he realized that if the village was under attack, the Hokage probably wouldn't call each ninja in order to warn them. In fact, the ninjas would probably know without a phone call that the village was under attack.

Sasuke hated waking up; he was never his best right after waking up. 

"Whoever you are, you'd better have a damn good reason for calling me this early." He snarled into the phone.

"Good morning sunshine!"

Sasuke closed his eyes and took a deep breath. After counting to ten, he cursed the 3rd Hokage for putting him on a team with Naruto and inadvertently causing the formation of a friendship between them. Sasuke bet the old bastard was laughing at his misfortune from wherever he was.

"Dobe, why the hell are you calling me this early!"

"Do you want to go shopping with me later today? I need new sheets. Mine are cursed."

Sasuke felt a tiny part of him shrivel up and die. The idiot called him at 3 a.m. to talk about cursed sheets and shopping? 

'_He's so dead.'_ Sasuke snarled to himself.

"Sasuke! Hey Sasuke! Did you go back to sleep?"

"I don't think I could."

"Then why were you so quiet?"

"I was thinking about the day we met."

"Huh?"

"And how much I regret it."

"Do you always have to be such a bastard?" 

"I'm not the one calling at 3 a.m."

"I know you need your beauty sleep, but…" Oh god, Sasuke realized, Naruto sounded like he was going to cry. "It's just that, I thought…" 

'_Don't cry. Then I'll be obligated to do whatever you want!' _

"I just thought we could just hang out, ya know? And bond while shopping."

Sasuke sighed. "Naruto…"

"Come on! It's not like you'll be busy."

"I don't want to."

"You **have** to."

"I don't **have** to do anything."

"…I won't leave you alone until you agree." 

Sasuke knew that was probably true; he wouldn't get any peace from Naruto until gave in to the obnoxious little bastard.

"Fine."

"Yay! Thanks Sas--" Naruto's voice was cut off as Sasuke hung up. 

"The things I do for that idiot." Sasuke muttered while lying down. Yep, somewhere the old man was definitely laughing at him.

* * *

Sasuke scowled darkly at anyone who tried to greet him as he walked down the street to the café where he was to meet Naruto. The obsidian eyed youth was tired. It had been extremely hard to fall back asleep after talking to his annoying teammate. He kept waking up at the slightest noise and finally gave up falling back asleep at around 4.

"If Shisui was calling Itachi at 3 in the fucking morning, then I can understand why Itachi killed him." The raven-haired ninja muttered to himself while glaring at a group of girls who walked past and called out to him.

"Good morning Sasuke-kun!"

Sasuke ignored them and continued walking until he reached the café. Looking around, he quickly found a head of spiky, blond hair and made his way over to Naruto.

"Oi, dobe."

Naruto looked up and Sasuke felt whatever irritation he had at the shorter boy vanish. Naruto looked dead tired. There were dark bags under red eyes and the demon holder looked like he would fall over any second.

"You look like shit." Sasuke said, sitting down opposite of the other boy.

"Thanks Captain Obvious." Naruto growled. "Anyways, I ordered coffee for both of us."

"Did you get any sleep last night?" Naruto shook his head.

"Was it because of the fox?" Sasuke asked. He had none for years about Naruto's furry tenant and it really didn't surprise him. He knew the other ninja wouldn't have been able to drag him back to Konoha a few years ago without the added boost from Kyuubi.

Sasuke still refused to believe that Naruto could have surpassed him on his own. Naruto believed Sasuke was just a bastard who could never admit that Naruto was stronger than him. Whenever Naruto said this, Sasuke would say that it was thanks to the demon. Naruto would then argue that he didn't use any of Kyuubi's chakra and that it was Naruto, not Kyuubi, who broke both of Sasuke's legs and brought him back to the village. Sasuke would then snort and say "Yeah right." And then the two boys would start arguing loudly and then the situation would devolve into an all out fist fight which would then quickly turn into a battle of the jutsus and then a Rasengan/Chidori battle. Then Kakashi would have to break up both the boys (or else listen to Sakura scream at him about letting the two kill each other). And then Sasuke and Naruto would sulk for days until Sasuke would buy Naruto ramen as an apology and Naruto would start taking to Sasuke again. 

Then the cycle would begin anew the following month. Sakura made sure she always had a decent supply of bandages ready for when it happened as well as a angry speech prepared for when the two idiots, in her mind, were too injured to argue with her or remind her about the vicious training matches she would have with Ino. 

Anyways, back to the story.

"Partly," Naruto replied as the waitress brought over the coffee. He threw her a charming smile before taking a sip and even Sasuke nodded in gratitude. The waitress left feeling very lucky. "It's mostly because of my sheets."

"Your sheets?"

"Yeah, they're cursed." Naruto took another sip of coffee. '_Oh sweet caffeinated goodness.'_ Inner Naruto purred. 

"How are they cursed?" Sasuke asked, choosing to ignore the blissful look on Naruto's face.

"Because they're forcing me to think about Neji!" Naruto slammed down his coffee and yelped as the hot drink splattered over the edges and onto his hand.

Sasuke rolled his eyes. "Smooth, moron." He turned to his own drink and then froze. Slowly his dark eyes widened and he looked back up at his teammate.

"You're thinking about Hyuuga!"

"I don't want to! It's all because of my sheets!"

Sasuke kept quiet. He was still trying to get past the part that Naruto was thinking about Hyuuga and blaming it on his sheets. Then he said, "Naruto, I don't think your sheets are cursed. I think…you like him."

"Eh?" Naruto looked confused. Sasuke sighed and started over. "You're thinking about him because you like him. And you're blaming your sheets, idiot. Why are you thinking about him anyways?"

"Well it all started a few days ago…" Naruto started

----Flashback----

Naruto hummed loudly as he read over applications of possible ANBU candidates. "Hey, here's Konohamaru's application." Skimming over it quickly he tossed it into the right pile. Most of the applications he had read over had already been sorted into two piles. The right pile was for the candidates who passed his inspection and the left was the reject pile.

"And here's another for the reject pile!" He said cheerfully while tossing the folder into the left pile.

"Naruto." Naruto looked up at whoever was the owner of the deep (and sexy) voice that had just addressed him.

"Hey Neji! How's it going?" The blond asked putting down the folder he was holding to look up at the older boy. Neji was standing in front of him, his hip leaning on the front of Naruto's desk. His long brown hair was tied neatly and he had his arms crossed in front of his chest and his white eyes were staring down at Naruto.

"Not bad." Neji shrugged, not breaking eye contact with the blond. Naruto squirmed slightly under the gaze until he finally broke eye contact. Looking back down at the folders waiting on his desk, he said, "Sorry I can't talk for long right now. I have to get through these folders or else the old hag will have my head." He laughed nervously as his face began to grow hot. He looked up again to see if the other ninja had left but was shocked when he looked straight up into a pair of eyes, belonging to said ninja.

"Neji..." He whispered his own eyes widening as a pale red blush spread across his face. Neji was close, too close. In fact, he was so close that all Naruto had to do was lean forward and…

"Eyelash." Neji said calmly removing the fallen eyelash from Naruto's face. Naruto twitched. 

"What?" he said incredulously.

"You had an eyelash on your face." Neji continued holding the eyelash on his fingertip in front of the younger boy. "Make a wish."

_'I wish you wouldn't stand so close.'_ Naruto inwardly whimpered as he closed his eyes and blew. When he opened his eyes, Neji was gone. Taking a deep breath Naruto tried to go back to reading over the applications, but the damage was done.

He couldn't stop replaying the incident in his mind for the rest of the day.

---End Flashback---

"That's it?"

"Pretty much."

"You thought about him for the rest of the day and night. It's not your sheets; you're definitely attracted to him."

"So I don't need new sheets?" Sasuke controlled the urge to hit his head against the table. God, why was his teammate so dense?

"No. You do not need new sheets. I don't even understand why you're blaming the sheets, but" He gritted out, "you need to go talk to the Hyuuga."

Suddenly, a look of realization dawned on Naruto's face. His blue eyes widened and his mouth formed an O-shape. "You're right." He whispered.

Slapping down some money, he stood up. "I'm going to go find Neji! Thanks for your help Sasuke!" He shouted as he ran off in the direction of the Hyuuga compound.

"No problem." Sasuke muttered, still trying to wrap his mind around the fact that his long-time teammate and friend was gay and having thoughts about Hyuuga. "I need something stronger than coffee." He groaned. 

Naruto and Neji. Together.

Sasuke gave into the urge and slammed his head down onto the table. So much for getting any sleep tonight.

* * *

Yay its done! I apologize for the sheer crappiness of this new addition to the rest of my writing collection (even I'm not sure what the hell I was thinking...), but I hope it wasn't too terrible. If it was, well, off to the trash bin.

1-Anyone following the elections in the US probably know about the 3 am phone ad. Just remember, if a phone is going off in the White House at 3 am, don't expect Sasuke to be happy when he answers it.

Gawd Neji is such a cool character. I love him! -snuggles Neji doll and then makes him kiss a Naruto doll- 

Anyways, the second part will be up soon (hopefully). Oh, and please review and tell me what you think. All flames will be used to burn my physics book!


End file.
